User blog:Awesomesix/TDERB: Rizachulous Race Trailer
Zach Sherwin: Hello, I’m Zach Sherwin. And where am I, you may ask? *Camera zooms out, showing him in a street market in India, selling foods, jewelry, pottery, and other goods to families. Some people wave at the camera.* Zach Sherwin: I’m in the first location of a ridiculous new series. Or, you could say, Rizachulous. Hold your laughter, please. *Zach coughs awkwardly.* *Zach begins walking around the market while talking. A kid steals an apple from a vendor, before running into a pole.* Zach Sherwin: This series is the brand-spanking new show, Total Drama ERB: Rizachulous Race, where we have 18 teams competing in multiple challenges around the world to get a lot of money. More than most of them make in a year. That’s almost a hundred. Well, more than almost. It’s beyond. It’s cold hard cash, and the teams are going to play cold and work hard before they can even smell it. *Zach picks up an apple, eats it, and places $20 on the vendor’s stall, who responds to the foreign currency annoyed. Zach keeps walking.* Zach Sherwin: What should you expect? Well, for one… a fair amount of epicness. *A clip of Bill and Ted power-sliding down a stage with pyrotechnic fountains going off behind them, playing the guitar with gleeful faces. A crowd is heard cheering.* *The scene then cuts to Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage in a disco hall, with a couple wearing 1900s clothing and a man with fluffy, black hair doing random dances behind them. Two teams are heard arguing in the distance, barely audible over the music; one player seems to have a Scottish accent, the other makes threats about a hammer. Jamie is jumping in place with a dull look, and Adam is doing jumping jacks. Suddenly, the two look at each other. Dramatic music ensues.* Adam Savage: Jamie, we’re getting nowhere. We’ve gotta step up our game… you know what to do, right? Jamie Hyneman: Yep. *The camera slowly zooms in on the two, looking at each other determined, Jamie squinting hard and Jamie smiling evilly. They slowly lean to one side, arms going to their sides and outwards from below the chest, and…* *The camera cuts to Zach Sherwin.* Zach Sherwin: ...and pain… *Juliet is shown pushing a portable vendor stall, similar to a hotdog stand, but made of wood, down a cobble road in India, with Romeo sitting on the counter, carrying expensive pottery.* Juliet: We’re almost to the safe zone! Romeo: Good, my face hurts… could you try to be a bit nicer next time you throw things at my face, love? Juliet: Yes, dear! Sorry. Zach Sherwin: Seventh place! *Juliet abruptly stops the cart on the Safety Napkin, flinging Romeo face first onto the ground in front of it. Zach looks down at him worriedly.* *The scene cuts to Sherlock running in a cold, dark alley, with lots of ambient fog.* Sherlock: Watson, I deduce that there is a wall I will run into! Watson: Preposterous! *Sherlock runs into said wall, falling backwards with a dumb smile. Watson steps backward, “OHHH”ing.* Zach Sherwin: And romance, of course. *A clip shows of Leonidas flexing to Bonnie and Clyde with a cocky smile, Gorgo laying seductively on a cart, sarcastically yawning.* *The clip switches to Capone and Blackbeard riding in a chariot next to Cleo and Monroe, all four with sandbags tied around their arms by ropes. The sound of wind drowns out most of the dialogue. A team consisting an old wigged man and a young teen are seen behind them, next to someone wearing a cowboy outfit riding a horse, also pulling a chariot ridden by someone, said person in a yellow jumpsuit.* Cleopatra: Spit it out, Capone! Al Capone: Cleo, I… I think I like you! Cleopatra: WHAT?? YOU LIKE WHAT? Blackbeard: HE WANTS TO DO THE BUTTSTUFF! *Monroe and Cleo look at Blackbeard shocked and disgusted. Capone facepalms, letting go of the reigns.* Confessional Capone and Blackbeard *Capone is seen covering his face with his left hand, elbow of his arm resting on his right one. Blackbeard looks at him confused.* Al Capone: ...the buttstuff, Blackbeard? Blackbeard: Well, we scoundrels are all about the booty, yargh! *The camera cuts back to Zach Sherwin.* Zach Sherwin: And of course, some good old fashioned drama. *The scene cuts to Oprah and Ellen in a confessional, Oprah looking very mad and Ellen wearing mittens, rubbing her face on them like a cat.* Oprah: Oh, I am so mad ''at those two stuck up twats! Does Cleo ''really think she owns the place? Get her near me again, I’ll beat her shit up! Ellen: Hey! That’s a rude word! *Ellen covers her ears with her mitts as Oprah looks at the camera unsurprised.* *The scene cuts to Ali and Jordan fist-fighting on the Great Wall, Juliet walking by with a slouched Romeo, the latter’s face bruised.* Muhammad Ali (between punches): I… don’t… like… you! Michael Jordan (also between punches): I don’t like your… face! *Julius Caesar walks by the two fighting, and shoves them over the edge of the wall emotionlessly.* Confessional: Caesar and Zulu *Julius looks proud at himself, smirking, while Zulu stares at him questionably, arms folded across his chest.* Julius Caesar: Oops. *The camera cuts back to Zach, riding an elephant with Gandhi, who is throwing salt at people unseen by the camera.* Zach Sherwin: So, who are you voting for? Well, it’s too early to say now, silly kids. You’ll have to tune in for… Total Drama ERB… the Rizachulous. Race. *The camera cuts.* Category:Blog posts